And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
