Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Send help, water and tortillas.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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