Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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