9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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