who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
