Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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