You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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