oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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