At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
