Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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