i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
