hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
