I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
