I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
