And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
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She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
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Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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