i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
