apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
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