I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
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She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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