i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
