In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
