so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
