you turned your livingroom into a bong?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
