u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
