I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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