Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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