He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
