GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize
