If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize