Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
