At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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