my room smells like sperm. sweet.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Sext me about skeletons
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
