I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
