Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
