Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
