Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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