he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
you will always have a special place in my vag
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
