Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
