So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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