they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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