my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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