I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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