We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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