bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
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hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
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Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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