i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize