smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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