i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
im on a boat
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