Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I want to be your penis for a week.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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