I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize