That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
