ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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