Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
