I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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