Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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