I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I FOUND THE LEGS
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