Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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