If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
