Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
