Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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