My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
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He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
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i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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