Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
