Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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