Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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