did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
