I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
ok first of all what the fuck
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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